3 Recent Negative Examples of Observational Learning in America

Georgia Boy charged with murder in death of 8 year old girl : Boy was imitating wrestling move seen on TV. Could face life in Prison

Mass. Boy suffers severe burns after having friend cover hands with gasoline and lighting it. The stunt had been viewed by the Youths on MTV's Jackass show.

Boy stabs 11 year old to death with knife in arcade. Had just recently seen slasher film "Valentine"

Children can "pick up" behaviors almost automatically by observation. The above examples point out why it is important for parents to know what sources are influencing their kids.

A signal-detection theory of asking people out.

Signal Detection Theory : Comes from WW II engineering theories.

How distinct does a signal have to be, in order to detect it when its hidden within "Noise"

Two overlapping bell distributions

One is the Noise distribution

The second is the Signal Distribution

The closer these two distributions are, the more difficult it is to pick out the "signal"

The more separation there is, the easier it is to pick out the "signal"

Decision Rules and Signal Detection Theory

The "decision rule" (or decision line) allows an individual to classify stimuli as "noise" or "signal"

There will be some amount of error associated with that decision rule.

There could be High False Positive Rate : Identify almost all signals, but incorrectly classify "noise" as signal sometimes.

There could be a low false negative rate : Hardly ever classify the noise as "signal", but incorrectly classify the signal as noise occasionally.

Wherever you set the decision line, there will some trade off between false negatives and false positives.

Applying Signal Detection Theory to Dating

Classify "noise" distribution as "Rejection distribution" : The population of potential romantic partners who want nothing to do with you.

Classify "signal" distribution as "Acceptance distribution" : The population of potential romantic partners who would date you if asked.

Preexisting conditions which create greater separation between these two distributions :

Physical Attractiveness

Social Status

Material Wealth

However, for people who do not possess these distribution separators, they must decide where to place their decision line.

The Modal (most frequent) Scenario

People do not like rejection, especially the perception of personal rejection that can accompany being turned down when asking someone out on a date.

Therefore, most individuals set a very conservative decision line, which will keep the number of "false positives" (you ask someone out and they say "no") to an absolute minimum.

The problem with this conservative strategy is that you will have an unusually high proportion of "False negatives" (You do not ask someone out, for fear of rejection; if you had asked them out they would have said yes)

The recommendation for increasing the frequency of your dating is to lower your decision rule, because by being more willing to risk rejection, you are also more likely to make a positive hit.

The bottom line of rejection

Emotional pain hurts, and break ups can bring a great deal of sadness and negative self-evaluation.

In order to reduce this emotional pain, perhaps considering the larger picture might help.

Let us assume that 1 out of every ten relationships ends in Marriage. (probably a high estimate)

We also know that 1 in every 2 relationships ends in divorce.

Based upon these two statistics, any relationship has only a 5 % chance of long term extended success !

Most relationships do not succeed : You should use this knowledge to help reduce the negative emotions that come with the dissolution of a relationship.

Blame yourself less for the break-up, and try not to hate the other person as well.