The Late Night
with
Conan O'Brien
Fan Purity Test Alternate Questions

An explanation

These are alternate questions for the Late Night Fan Purity Test. If you don't like the questions put up in the main part of the test, try taking as many these as you like instead. Enjoy.

  • Do you know what parts Michelle Trachtenberg portrayed on Late Night before her part in "Michelle the Spy"?
  • What did the kinkajou do?
  • What did Andy ask about the kinkajou?
  • Have otters ever done what they're supposed to do on the show?
  • Any newspaper will tell you that smoking is bad for you. Notes Andy in a public service announcement, what else will any newspaper tell you?
  • What did Prince Charles have to say about the most difficult part of the divorce?
  • What did Conan find that set off a moral dilemma?
  • Aren't you usually convinced by the bear's arguments?
  • Don't you wonder how it is other people aren't?

    Have you found a comic strip that refers to Conan O'Brien? Good. Give yourself a couple extra points.

  • Deep down, did you like the joke about "The pope is going on vacation. He said, 'I would pray for good weather, but I'm on vacation.'?"
  • Is your main thought about the Olympics how annoying it's going to be waiting for Late Night to come on?
  • Even despite "Pioneer Pimp"?
  • Do you know the number to select that outfit?
  • Did you call it?
  • What kind of entertainment do the Olympic people provide in the athlete's cafeteria?
  • What movie is Andy starring in?
  • What movie is Max starring in?
  • Did you get his movie trailer translated into a language you understand?
  • Didn't the guy who does Zorak's voice on "Space Ghost Coast To Coast" do something on the show recently?
  • Recent reports about Late Night have indicated that one popular character may not be coming back, at the request of NBC executives. Who is this character?
  • Don't you think this just means Late Night is going to find something much more devious to do?
  • Was your first reaction to the new set wondering how long it would be befor e somebody got thrown against the padded walls?
  • What country did Andy go to over the break?
  • What country did Conan go to?
  • Did anyone have evidence to contradict that?

    Or a less-than-appealing image, anyway...

  • How does a real train conductor handle people who hide in the bathrooms to a void paying fares?
  • What happened to the old set?
  • What valuable use is it being put to?
  • Have you ever gotten the prize in the bottom of a box of Conie-O's?
  • Were you disappointed by it?
  • Did you think Allan Toussaint's song was directed at you?
  • What has Andy done to practice over the break?
  • When did pirates come to the show?
  • You have episodes of "Abe and the Worm" on tape?

    1996! Don't worry about it!

  • You have an episode guide for it written?
  • Have you put up a web page for it?
  • How can my space love be so wrong when it feels so meteo-right?
  • Who refused to play an incontinent hyena?
  • Is it necessary, to build your car up, to tear down Herbie the Love Bug?
  • Did you know of Conan's martial arts skills long ago?
  • Did he use them against you?
  • How many steps did it take to connect Andy to Kevin Bacon?
  • Could you do it in fewer steps?
  • What do gargoyles want to do?
  • What do they really want to do?
  • The mention of what band disrupted Conan's monologue?
  • Did you remember the sketch in which Conan and Kyle Mclaughlin appear together?
  • Did you have it on tape, queued up to the scene?
  • Do you disagree about Foam Rubber Andy being "a pink bear"?
  • Do you have a selection of alternate species he could, logically, be?
  • Does it creep you out when Conan announces who's on Later, and is completNBC/Burbank?
  • Do you think you've identified the most recent one?
  • Does your suspicion have anything to do with Greg Kinnear being vanquished f rom the overnight?
  • How many times has Bill Clinton been on?
  • What's the easiest way to fill the time three jokes would require?
  • What record has Bob Dole's gall bladder won?
  • What do talk show audiences do during the commercial breaks?
  • How does a director pronounce Jean-Claude van Damme's name?
  • Are you already staking out time ely wrong, even though Conan is a new show and Later is a rerun?
  • How much wood could Joan Collins chuck if Joan Collins could chuck wood?
  • What use did Abe Vigoda have for their old fan?

    You did hear about the CNBC thing, right?

  • What marathon did Andy watch on Lifetime?
  • Which muppets support Clinton/Gore for 96?
  • What is Conan's name in Spain?
  • What fate befell the Loser at the Beach?
  • Why did Conan go to Ireland?
  • How many times you figure they're going to be able to get away with that "Ma x On Max" footage?
  • Zaire:Ebola Virus::United States: ?
  • What was Jeffrey Lyon's comment about the anniversary special?
  • What level of nerd-dom did Conan dream to achieve?

    Verb! That's what's happening.

  • What prefaced all the Old Farmer's Almanacs anecdotes?
  • What hardship must Andy brave to get on stage?
  • Was 'Hungry Eyes' the grossest image you have ever seen on network TF?
  • Are you positive that "public service advertisements" are made when Late Nig ht is upset with a new brainstemstorm from NBC/Burbank?
  • Do you think you've identified the most recent one?
  • Does your suspicion have anything to do with Greg Kinnear being vanquished f rom the overnight?
  • How many times has Bill Clinton been on?
  • What's the easiest way to fill the time three jokes would require?
  • What record has Bob Dole's gall bladder won?
  • What do talk show audiences do during the commercial breaks?
  • Why was Pimp-Bot 5000 upset at Conan?
  • How does a director pronounce Jean-Claude van Damme's name?
  • Are you already staking out time on CNBC?
  • What's Shirley Maclane coming soon as?
  • What TV show particularly helps familiarize foreigners with U.S. culture?

    Hey! No tickling!

  • What did Dog, King Lion and Pig teach?
  • What was Art Buchwald's stated credential for becoming the restaurant critic for the New York Herald Tribune's Paris edition?
  • What was Andy working hard doing all day?
  • What's the new way to signal for a left turn?
  • In what does the U.S. truly excell over foreign countries?
  • Which song from "The Jungle Book" can be used to fill in for a national anth em if necessary?
  • How much would you pay for 300 used crossword puzzles?
  • Have you read Alexi Lalas' poem?
  • What superpowers failed Andy?
  • What's up with Polly's voice?
  • What addition is intended to make Law and Order more gripping this year?
  • What's the best use to which to put a lawn mower?
  • How many times has softball come up between Tom Brokaw and Conan?
  • What is Marc Maron's vision for the future, if Dr. Kevorkian's views catch on?
  • Are you bitter?
  • Did you read the entire list of people with whom Madonna had slept?
  • Did you catch some of the in-jokes from it?
  • Did you catch all of them?
  • How does Sauerkaut Juice taste?
  • How about bubbles?
  • Pork brains?
  • What plastic surgery did Dolly Parton have done?
  • Sam Donaldson?
  • How did Late Night get Sarah Jessica Parker?
  • Do you feel Tim Meadow's appearance damages the integrity of earlier episodes and represents a particularly nasty retcon?
  • Really?
  • You think the "Baby Letterman" thing is a great start for...something?
  • Were you slightly scared by "The Turtle Who Thought He Was a Corn Muffin?"
  • Were you more scared by Nipsey Russell as the police officer?
  • What's the new feature the closed captioning guy has?

    Turtle, anyone?

  • Does Conan mind his knee being touched?
  • Who pulled a Mickey Rooney over a "Customized Guest Introduction Song"?
  • What advice did the Gaseous Weiner's PSA offer?
  • How many dirty words did Scott Thompson work in this time around?
  • How many has he worked in since his first appearance?
  • What's the name of that weird musical instrument, the one that Snoopy used in the Spelling Song in "A Boy Named Charlie Brown"?
  • How many laughs do you have left in the day?
  • Were you one of the fans in the stands the night the sports director photographed the show?
  • What was the big deal with Lisa Kudrow's Gameboy?
  • Are you frightened by the notion Conan was a "Saved By The Bell" fan?
  • Are you named Clem?
  • Whose breakfast cereal did Ross Perot infiltrate?
  • Which Baldwin Brother did his siblings almost kill?
  • Is that 'Call of the Wiley' thing for real?
  • On Team Conan: What is Oldy Olsen's background?
  • What's the only thing to do if you're pinned down and out of ammo?
  • What is well phrased by the term "Optical Shortening"?
  • What was Dr. Ruth's most...provoking...comment this time?
  • Was there anything suspicious about the videotape of Lady Diana performing an autopsy on aliens in 1947 Roswell, New Mexico?
  • What was the original title of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien"?
  • So what was bothering Joel, anyway?
  • Do you feel it's related to the miserable advertisement opening?
  • What is the plot of Jurassic Park II, according to Samuel L. Jackson, anyway?
  • Sound better than whatever they're actually doing?
  • Did you ever think you'd ever see Samual L. Jackson give Andy Richter a foot massage?
  • Do you still not believe you saw it? Hi, Sauer Family!
  • Who were those guys who wandered in?
  • What happened to Kerri Strug's voice?
  • Why was Julie Scardina an unfortunate guest for this show?
  • Has your opinion of owls been changed?
  • Are you upset the hedgehog couldn't fly around the studio?
  • What's in the headlines?
  • Had you voted for that Senator?
  • Have you joined the Spam Club?
  • Have you enjoyed the many benefits of membership?
  • How much Wonder Bread and Mayonnaise did Bryant Gumbel have?
  • To whom did he have a shrine?
  • Did you check out Bob Dole's psychedelic prostate?
  • Was it five minutes or five years?
  • How long was the show in reruns?
  • Why was it in reruns?
  • Have you always avoided King Bunny No-Nos?
  • Why did Conan have to apologize to Madonna?
  • What is Conan's mother's maiden name?
  • What is Conan's connection to Ernest Borgnine?
  • Are you heartened with Conan and Andy tried te first guest to smoke a cigarette on the show?
  • Were you able to correct them?
  • What was the wrestling community's feeling on the U.S. Presidential race?
  • What's Dole's newest plan to win the race, whether you like it or not?
  • Is Conan ak show host?
  • What really distinguishes undertakers from other people?
  • Do you get honestly upset when you realize the phone lines had been open in a given episode and you didn't know about it until it was too late?
  • Had the characterization of Dole encouraged you to support his candcy?
  • What did Wade Boggs end up riding through Times Square?
  • What teams has Carl "Oldy" Olsen played with?
  • Is Sandra Bernhart the first person to try to tongue-kiss Andy on the air?
  • Who was?
  • Who is at the genetic center of humanity?
  • How many Freds are there?
  • How many Ernies?
  • How did Steve Harvey destroy a person's life?
  • Are you ready to rap?
  • What did it take to constrain Dr. Frankenstein's monster?
  • How's C Dog 1?
  • Why mustn't Dole sleep?
  • Why did Kathy Griffin need a letter from Jerry Seinfeld?
  • Did you catch Conan's "Politically Incorrect" appearance?
  • How about the Rosie O'Donnel Show Appearance?
  • Did you know everything he was going to say at them anyway? at did Bob Dole win? Just Dole It.
  • Do youe 'Dead Kid Joey' clip?
  • Are you proud that Queen Latifah might just be weird enough to take this tes t too?
  • Who was Lenny Bass?
  • Where can you get really good bread in Europe?
  • Are you already waiting for the next MacKenzie Brothers movie?
  • What happens to mimes who won't play by the rules?
  • Who's going to be the Babe Ruth of schmuckiness?
  • Do minor changes in the sequence of the show's shots cause you physical dis comfort?
  • Have you got a slide rule?
  • How often does Screech go through town?
  • What adjustments did the show need to work to the format to adjust to being on CNBC?
  • What adjustments were they able to make to wardrobe by the freedom being on CNBC offered?
  • How do you cast a major movie right?
  • Have you started a web page about Pimp-Bot?
  • How about Diz?
  • More than one web page?
  • What's the connection between Sea Monkeys and Kevin Bacon?
  • What did it take for Andy to become a man?
  • How did Penny Marshall's brothers try to get a horse?
  • Why go to Cambodia?
  • When is Bob Dole going on Silk Stalkings?
  • As what?
  • What happened to the Dalmations?
  • What's cool about a cat in a train wreck?
  • How many Santas did Conan and Andy run over?
  • Did David Copperfield manage anything really cool this time?
  • What was Conan's gift to his viewers?
  • Why is "Baywatch" watched by 14 billion people?
  • Who killed Dr. Ruth?
  • What was taken out of the Gettysburg Address?
  • How was Andy's holiday?
  • How does the janitor answer the phone?
  • Who's the "ballerina on the plus sign"?
  • What does Conan have in common with Keanu Reaves?
  • How many members of Late Night's on-camera staff have admitted to illiteracy?
  • What's the most extreme reaction that magician with the card ever got?
  • What is Conan's ultimate meal?
  • What happened to Dole when he was supposed to be on on January 8th?
  • How did Dole's "Suddenly Susan" appearance go?
  • Why should one buy "Hello Kitty" stuff?
  • Who is beneath the Bridge to the 21st Century?
  • Have you recovered from Don Rickles yet?
  • Has Conan?
  • What business did Nipsey Russel have with Andy?
  • What's the devil's most recent work?
  • Did you send Conan a get-well card?
  • How many did you send?
  • How did Levar Burton's VISOR attach?
  • Would you figure that was worth it?
  • Have you trouble figuring out how anyone finds it worth it?
  • Have you sought the help of the Richter Center?
  • Where does Mary Tyler Moore intersect Bob Newhart?
  • Why was the 'MTM opening' woman scowling?
  • Who lost the first Death Match?
  • Who's up in the next one?
  • How did Virginia Tech describe Andy?
  • How is he described in his contract?
  • Were you at the Virginia Tech talk?
  • Were you not there because of a court order?
  • How did Andy blow his fortune?
  • What's happened to Andrew Dice Clay?
  • What's made Conan a real opera fan?
  • How would the show have been different if Rock and Roll had caught on?
  • How about if Napoleon had lost at Waterloo?
  • Or if the U.S. had won the Cold War?
  • How about if Conan was the host of the show?
  • What should the plot of William Baldwin's next movie be?
  • Why is Max so very happy all the time?
  • What's the hidden story among Conan, Andy, and Max?
  • What do water monikers have in common with kinkajous?
  • And the snake?
  • So who won the 17th annual college band contest?
  • Who won the 3d annual college band contest?
  • Who was Vaughn Cunningham?
  • Why is this name important?
  • Who did Max and Rob Lowe meet before things really got crazy?
  • What was Deng Xiaoping's former job?
  • Why did Melissa Joan Hart find Disneyworld to be one of the best places on Earth?
  • Which old friend of Ice-T's did he speak with?
  • Where are they going to meet next?
  • How was the "Erection Night" sweeps event?
  • What prompted an international crisis on February 11, 1997?
  • How did "Abe Vigoda Night" go?
  • What injury did the Gaseous Weiner suffer?
  • Have you sent a get-well card?
  • Is the belching potato okay?
  • How many bar bets did Ted Kennedy win?
  • What did Marilyn Manson offer Conan?
  • What sort of people now fill 30 Rock?
  • So what was the setup for the "Jackie Puppet" bit on Stern's show?
  • So, is the "Private Parts" movie as much fun as the Jackie Puppet torture?
  • What should you not do around Mark Hamill?
  • Whose evil bidding is Conan compelled to do?
  • To what extremes did Mark Hamill take promotions for the Star Wars Special Edition?
  • What's the appropriate gift for a third anniversary?
  • What's the appropriate gift for an eighth anniversary?
  • What is the true face of God?
  • Where are the nude pictures of Andy on the web?
  • Conan was trapped in the TV set! Where'd he go?
  • What is Nipsey Russel's new name?
  • What do you have to do with your tears to make it Oscar-worthy?
  • How about some wine?
  • What advantages are there to be found to working in the Fast Food Industry?
  • Why couldn't Conan serve in a jury for five weeks?
  • Why could he?
  • Who'd he meet while waiting to be dismissed?
  • Do you know who that person was?
  • Who is Andy's hero, and why?
  • Where'd Max go?
  • How did the Van Damme set design develop?
  • Does it work for you?
  • Who'd Joel know out west?
  • Why did his participation in the group end?
  • Does Joel seem to be getting better, overall?
  • What was the first time they said "Sorry, Hoo Bong" on the show?
  • Who won the Banjo Dancing Award?
  • What sort of controversy was there about it?
  • Who won the great Announcer Contest?
  • What actually was left behind in 30 Rock when The Tonight Show left the studios there?
  • What was Max's problem with the computer?
  • Did you send a message to help fix it?
  • Were you thanked?
  • What's Louis C.K.'s number?
  • What's on his answering machine?
  • Where does Andy keep his tow hitch?
  • Remember David Bowie's 'corncob' period?
  • Who was in Relevance Anonymous?
  • Who wasn't?
  • When exactly was David Bowie replaced with a computer generated image?
  • What was with his backup singer, with the horns and zero percent body fat?
  • Didn't it seem like Martin Mull had been on before?
  • Who was Johnny Carson?
  • How did Bobby know the horse wanted a sex change?
  • Was Sparry anything but an excuse for Conan to use his fire extinguisher?
  • So what are the Weather Channel's plans for world domination?
  • What's rain?
  • What's thunder?
  • Where is the Wisconsin snow particularly heavy?
  • What's the problem with there being only a tenth as many homeless people?
  • You got an Elliot Gould?
  • How about Maude's husband?
  • What's Q Clearance mean, for Charlton Heston?
  • What's Q Clearance mean, for Conan O'Brien?
  • What makes Late Night different from a morning talk show?
  • When did Conan stop hating his name?
  • When does Max make his clothing?
  • What'd he wear the first night?
  • What happened?
  • Was Conan making an innocent joke?
  • What caused the first tie in a staring contest?
  • If kids got to vote on their high school curriculum, what would be every class?
  • What's Conan revealed about himself?
  • What's a good gift for a child?
  • What air does it have about it?
  • Didn't it seem like Martin Mull had been on before?
  • Who was Johnny Carson?
  • How did Bobby know the horse wanted a sex change?
  • Was Sparry anything but an excuse for Conan to use his fire extinguisher?
  • So what are the Weather Channel's plans for world domination?
  • What's rain?
  • What's thunder?
  • Where is the Wisconsin snow particularly heavy?
  • What's the problem with there being only a tenth as many homeless people?
  • You got an Elliot Gould?
  • How about Maude's husband?
  • What's Q Clearance mean, for Charlton Heston?
  • What's Q Clearance mean, for Conan O'Brien?
  • What makes Late Night different from a morning talk show?
  • When did Conan stop hating his name?
  • When does Max make his clothing?
  • What'd he wear the first night?
  • What happened?
  • Was Conan making an innocent joke?
  • What caused the first tie in a staring contest?
  • If kids got to vote on their high school curriculum, what would be every class?
  • What's Conan revealed about himself?
  • What's a good gift for a child?
  • What air does it have about it?
  • Can we get one more week on the Tyson jokes?
  • Please?
  • What will Jesse James do in the year 2000?
  • So, how about "Dirty Dancing"?
  • Did you call in?
  • Did you feel not that strongly about it?
  • Even after La Bamba's job was threatened?
  • Did Scott Thompson use any non-approved language his most recent visit?
  • Yeah, wonder if he's okay?
  • What was the oddest line ever uttered on the show?
  • Would you say that actually wasn't even close?
  • What would have gotten the Mormons to Salt Lake City faster?
  • How's Joel doing?
  • What's the flag of Libertonia?
  • What's the most popular name for children in New Jersey?
  • Second most popular?
  • Third most popular?
  • For what reason was Ed Koch being repeatedly hit in the head with a block of wood?
  • Were you around when that episode was first on?
  • How about Ed Koch being punched in the stomach?
  • How about for 'Old Man River'?
  • Remember when Al Lewis was on the show?
  • How about Aunt Martha?
  • How was her stuffing?
  • Are trees the enemy?
  • What's the key to making people listen to you?
  • Can you say 'Transcontinental'?
  • What's wrong with baggy pants?
  • According to James Taylor, what's the whole point of it all?
  • And the other point?
  • What was Conan's impression when he watched Late Night with that other guy?
  • Who *was* that other guy, anyway?
  • What happened to him, anyway?
  • What do folks do after watching Xena?
  • What happened to one of the Amsterdam kids?
  • What did the Kid have to say about behind-the-scenes with Conan?
  • And with Andy?
  • Do you like truffles?
  • What's Andy's middle name?
  • You going to go to Fargo?
  • You entered Conan's Number One Fan contest, didn't you?
  • Did you win?
  • You entering next year?
  • Why are you trying to seduce your answering machine?
  • Do you keep getting impressed by what a nice guy Conan acts like?
  • On what lie has the show been built?
  • What's wrong with 'Hiller and Diller'?
  • How can you be in the middle of six children?
  • Have you ever had a Sloppy Joe?
  • Are you prepared, in case you ever do?
  • Where'd Andy disappear to?
  • Why "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"?
  • Does your household equipment and office machinery know when to act on its horniness?
  • Why do you like syrup?
  • Why do your kids like syrup?
  • Can dead men laugh at your birthmark?
  • Was Penn and Teller's soda can trick neat?
  • Was it neater when you saw it on Keith Obermann's show first?
  • Even though that appearance happened later?
  • Did you pull the string enough to make Teller talk?
  • Are you still chanting "Beer"?
  • Will you please stop?
  • Thank you.
  • Do you still posess the pants you had when the October 15th show started?
  • Did you know before it was announced that it was Keith Richards calling?
  • Did you know exactly what Keith Richards was talking about?
  • Didn't you think Evel Kneivel had died a few years ago, too?
  • Yeah. Who were we thinking of?
  • Has Andy reached the big 4-0 yet?
  • The big 1-3?
  • Do you Riverdance up to people?
  • What happened to Conan after Andy wished?
  • What happened to Max after Andy wished?
  • What was Andy's wish?
  • What will Mike Wallace, Morley Safer, and Andy Rooney be leaving "60 Minutes" to do?
  • How does Anna Nicole Smith help automobile safety?
  • What sort of person comes out of obscurity to host a TV show?
  • Never happens, does it?
  • Which dissident will China be releasing?
  • Which one wil the U.S. be releasing?
  • What are important about chromosomes?
  • Is there a Cyberweb?
  • Are you making it?
  • Is it Toy World or Fun World?
  • Late Night is to Conan O'Brien as Later is to...?
  • Was it your computer Conan found?
  • Did you go out to buy a model matching that one?
  • What can Ozzy Ozborne turn into if he wants to fly away?
  • How long has David Letterman been living in Amsterdam?
  • Is it a challenge to do the CBS show from there?
  • What's William Shatner do for Halloween?
  • Do you have any idea what masked character William Shatner was thinking of?
  • How about which medication William Shatner needs?
  • According to George Stephanopolous, has Bill Clinton ever said 'Nee-haw?'
  • Has Mothra ever touched a bottle in your world?
  • Where'd Winston Churchill keep his ferret?
  • Who saved Rip Taylor?
  • Does Sam Donaldson look like a hamster?
  • Why haven't Andy and Conan been asked on the Roundtable?
  • Would you ever say, 'Carrot, Cokie, Cokie, Carrot?'
  • Do you agree with Late Night's campaign to get 1999 not played?
  • Do you think much of your life has been spent waiting for this campaign?
  • Who makes the Dellaventura?
  • What sort of engine does it have?
  • Is it a fuel-efficient engine?
  • What's a good metaphor for life?
  • What's a better one?
  • What does 'Dis' stand for?
  • What's Jesus' little brother named?
  • What's his birthdate?
  • What'd he get for his birthday this year?
  • Can Conan O'Brien get more promos for Christmas?
  • Can he have a billion dollars instead?
  • Would you be happy being called the Liberace of boxing?
  • How does Max keep straight which song he's to play?
  • Who invented Jack Daniels?
  • How far did G.E.'s stock drop when Al Roker slid back?
  • And what weather phenomenon was to blame?
  • Does Sam Donaldson look like a hamster?
  • Why haven't Andy and Conan been asked on the Roundtable?
  • Would you ever say, 'Carrot, Cokie, Cokie, Carrot?'
  • Do you agree with Late Night's campaign to get 1999 not played?
  • Do you think much of your life has been spent waiting for this campaign?
  • Who makes the Dellaventura?
  • What sort of engine does it have?
  • Is it a fuel-efficient engine?
  • What's a good metaphor for life?
  • What's a better one?
  • What does 'Dis' stand for?
  • What's Jesus' little brother named?
  • What's his birthdate?
  • What'd he get for his birthday this year?
  • Can Conan O'Brien get more promos for Christmas?
  • Can he have a billion dollars instead?
  • Would you be happy being called the Liberace of boxing?
  • How does Max keep straight which song he's to play?
  • Who invented Jack Daniels?
  • How far did G.E.'s stock drop when Al Roker slid back?
  • And what weather phenomenon was to blame?
  • After Hall and Oates breaks up, who will be in Hall and who will be in Oates?
  • Would you rather have 15 million dollars or a working magic carpet?
  • What's NBC's new slogan for Conan?
  • What tragedy struck Jerry Seinfeld on December 24, 1997?
  • Could Pat Morita be the Dalai Llama?
  • What's it like to hang out in Morocco with a bunch of Tibetans?
  • What is the hot new blockbuster show for Must-See TV?
  • What's the president's new pet?
  • What's it named?
  • Who won the Trojan Bowl?
  • You looking forward to Andy doing opera?
  • Which Gaelic figure was Conan named after?
  • What's the deal with cottage cheese?
  • How did the attempt at rising above the White House Scandal turn out?
  • Was it like a good date?
  • Did you understand the impeachment process?
  • Do you understand it now?
  • What's going on with the masturbating bear?
  • Who was using Conan's dressing room?
  • Has she ever used yours?
  • What about Olga Korbut?
  • Monty Python; Spider Man; Baseball Statistics; Star Trek ... do you see the pattern?
  • Are you salivating?
  • Why'd Conan sell out?
  • How did the show used to take interviews with guests?
  • Who used to sponsor the show, back when it was cool?
  • What sort of musical groups did they used to have, back when they were cool?
  • What happened to the Madagascar lizard, back when the show was cool?
  • Portland: Oregon or Maine?
  • Does it matter?
  • What's a good stereotype about Jews?
  • How about Mexicans?
  • What does Conan need from his desk?
  • What is Andy's weakness?
  • Was it all a dream?
  • Or was it?
  • What's The Closer do?
  • What's The Profiler do?
  • What's The Equalizer do?
  • How should every episode of "The Closer" end, according to Andy?
  • Who is Dale Woodley?
  • Is he a good reporter?
  • Is he an *accurate* reporter?
  • What's Conan's confession when nobody was watching?
  • How about Andy?
  • How did Max get to be Bruce Springstein's drummer?
  • What's buried in Asbury Park?
  • What's buried in Freehold?
  • Ever been to Freehold?
  • I have. Come from right near there, when not at school.
  • Were you glad to have the NBC Bug fixed?
  • Wasn't the apperance on Elmopalooza perfect?
  • Did you see the episode that clip was taken from?
  • What happened to the aluminum collector who wasn't Bobby?
  • How much rent was he charged?
  • What can you say about the prequel to 'Titanic,' about its construction?
  • You know who Max on the Make is?
  • You scared of him?
  • Who's Bob Barker?
  • Why was Max fired by Bruce Springstein?
  • Who was the drummer for Air Supply?
  • What does 'obtainable' mean?
  • What's the problem with the Irish?
  • What happens when Max works up a sweat?
  • What happens when Conan and Andy work up a sweat?
  • Have you ever made a boat out of aluminum foil?
  • Do you think that might get you on the show?
  • Who is Nick Cooperman?
  • What's been the purpose of Late Night?
  • Who was William Roldamen?
  • Who was that guy in the sombrero and beekeeper's outfit?
  • What 1997 event will Milli Vanilli be revealed to be involved in, in the year 2000?
  • How is TV's Madam involved in the White House Scandal?
  • How many lives woulf have been saved, in the Seinfeld finale, had the cease-fire been declared a half-hour earlier?
  • What happens to Newman in the Seinfeld finale?
  • Do you know how many of the quoted lines actually were in the M*A*S*H finale?
  • Where are Wendy's burgers best?
  • What's Andy doing for the weekend?
  • Do you agree, taking the ticket out of the wallet would be a lot of work?
  • What are you doing for the weekend?
  • Have you learned to lie?
  • Is it lucky if you end up before the Potato Judge?
  • Who's the greatest magician of all time?
  • What does Koko think of the future?
  • What is the univeral language?
  • What does it take to turn the show into a Tex Avery cartoon?
  • Where did Andy Richter go first?
  • What did he find?
  • What was Andy's second destination?
  • How did Andy find Matt Lauer's car?
  • How did he find the keys for it?
  • What was Andy's final destination?
  • What's Matt Lauer's favorite hangout?
  • What did Andy show us?
  • How did Conan seek revenge?
  • How many women, counting his mother, has Conan kissed?
  • What coveted role did Pauly Shore recently get?
  • What was Al Roker's lifelong dream?
  • How was it fulfilled?
  • How did he help out Superman?
  • Would you like to be a cartoon?
  • What's the name of Andy's beekeeper?
  • What floor number is the NBC parking garage?
  • What evil man created the Hansons?
  • What happens when daddy swears in front of junior?
  • What will pave the bridge to the 21st century?
  • What sort of side effects does Viagra have?
  • How does the red button undo the worst of them?
  • What will be featured in the bra of the future?
  • Emerson who?
  • How'd "Giselle" end?
  • How did that affect the ending of "Seinfeld"?
  • What must happen when the ratings are low?
  • What prompted David Hasselhoff to show his evil nature?
  • How do castmembers get to stay despite low ratings?
  • For what has Regis Philbin been recognized by the Vatican?
  • Did you know Koko was looking for work?
  • What's Koko been doing lately?
  • What's Andy been doing lately?
  • When was the show off?
  • Was that quite a spatula?
  • Did Conan go to Europe?
  • Venice, too?
  • Where was he Monday of his vacation?
  • Wednesday?
  • Friday?
  • What are the Three S's of success?
  • The 45 P's of success?
  • Have you ever solved a mystery?
  • Has anyone solved them?
  • Why did Robert Stack take a part?
  • Ga Who?
  • When is President Hoover going to be selling ice cream?
  • At show #948, how close were they to a thousand?
  • How has Andy changed over time?
  • What does his rocket-sled offer?
  • Why couldn't he be on for the rest of the show?
  • Is it ghosts?
  • Who knocked that over, then?
  • Did a ghost push Conan?
  • Which championship NBA team was lead by Morley Safer?
  • Bob Hope?
  • Katherine Hepburn?
  • Do you agree Conan's to blame for Charles Grodin being cancelled?
  • Would you have been happier if F-Troop had displaced Charles Grodin?
  • What is riding the MASTIF (those spinning wheel space things) like?
  • What did Andy learn from riding that?
  • Where had he experienced the cyclotron before?
  • Have you ever run with the characters?
  • Has anyone you've known been killed by the stampede?
  • Have you been killed by the stampede?
  • Have a bug?
  • A beetle?
  • A creepy thing on your shirt?
  • Made you look.
  • Is the idea of Conan as a jock really that absurd?
  • But then, you are a nerd, right?
  • Is your licence plate New Jersey XKG6WY9?
  • Have you gotten that as a custom plate?
  • In the year 2000, whom will the Catholic Church place above the Pope?
  • Are you eagerly waiting the release of Windows: Kevin Costner?
  • What makes Lundy's Hotel and Casino the best Atlantic City casino?
  • How can a priest promise that the Brooklyn Dodgers would win the World Series someday?
  • Why does every romantic relationship have to end in a grizzly death?
  • How much does the TV monitor weigh?
  • What would you call 'Inappropriate'?
  • In what does The In Crowd travel?
  • Who doesn't like fudge?
  • What's funnier than a cartoon Frenchman's intestinal urgency?
  • Did you hear where France was caught in the back of a van with a transvestite Belgium?
  • Do your windows keep evil wizards out, and let good wizards in?
  • What's a good reason to stay in school?
  • How do you spell cornucopia?
  • No, seriously, cornucopia?
  • Remember the McDLT?
  • Have you been in Chris Elliot's hatch?
  • By invitation?
  • Do you bring a lava lamp on your camping trips?
  • Could you make one from club soda and raisins if necessary?
  • Why?
  • What is Oktoberfest, really?
  • How do you say '99' in French?
  • Is it related to '86'?
  • Who gets drunk and blows a religious horn?
  • Do you watch Conan for his courtesy?
  • Aren't you glad you do?
  • What martial arts does Conan know?
  • Remember the time Conan interviewed Andy, and tried to pretend he was George Kennedy?
  • How do Conan and Andy look in religious comic books?
  • What was up with Barrabas?
  • How were Conan and Andy on the morning zoo?
  • How many times has Conan called the show 'swell'?
  • How many times has it been 'swell'?
  • According to Ray Romano, what's the best thing about an infant?
  • What is Washington laughter like?
  • Which was Clinton's favorite nose?
  • Why is Mayor Guiliani opposed to sex shops?
  • How about Sally Struthers?
  • Did you see a scary guy in the corner of the screen?
  • Which was Jeremy?
  • Which was Ira?
  • What's Abe Vigoda's favorite thing?
  • Isn't it a bummer when you get sand on your kidney?
  • Could that girder have killed someone if it hit you?
  • Why didn't it kill anyone?
  • What does W.W.C.D. stand for?
  • W.W.C.D., then?
  • Who's the prettiest girl Conan knows?
  • What script was presented to Gary Sinese?
  • How do you change your act for Debbie Gibson?
  • Where do personality shots come from?
  • Does Conan have a girlfriend?
  • No, really?
  • What are your feelings about Count Chocula?
  • Are you addicted to chocolatey goodness?
  • How do they reflect your views on rave dancing?
  • Who was the original La La?
  • How did the Golden Retriever named Clinton save a family?
  • How do people attacking clowns escape?
  • Where does Joel get the breaking news?
  • How many awkward silences make a show?
  • How many are deliberate?
  • What's Pimp-Bot's normal job?
  • How about Foam Rubber Conan?
  • If you were foam rubber Conan, would you want to be real?
  • If you were a giant cob of corn, would you want to be real?
  • What's the best doctor's advice Andy ever got?
  • Who invented crack cocaine?
  • When did Lyndon Johnson's Baby Mutation Ranch open?
  • Why was the 5th Anniversary Special on UPN?
  • Why did Jaleel White host?
  • Do you bring in Urkel whenever there's trouble?
  • How was the 'Welcome Hitler' placemat a subtle allusion to the Very First Episode?
  • So when is September 16th, anyway?
  • Where is Alabama's newest airport?
  • Why did the band play "Sweet Caroline" for Caroline Rhea?
  • What does it take to get Nipsey Russel back in place?
  • Who's that guy from Conan O'Brien?
  • What can a bear named Lewinsky use pretensious haikus to do?
  • How often do high-school students masticate?
  • And musicians?
  • Why are we calling it Conan-Mania?
  • What sort of disease do you need to catch "Maybe-See TV."
  • Who plays Kip Wellington?
  • What's it take to be the smartest man on Late Night?
  • Were you aware of Andy's demonic nature?
  • Are you aware of the contradictions this makes with past episodes?
  • Do you care?
  • Have you ever left chewing gum on a president's shoulder?
  • Have you gone back to chew it later?
  • Did you know of the Roker connection to the Clinton scandal was?
  • Were you subpoenaed for it?
  • What is your definition of Betty Currie?
  • Who was the guy sitting in with the band, that Max didn't know?
  • What's Andy's real voice like?
  • How long have the Irish and Dominicans been close?
  • How many pies did Iron Man eat in one hour?
  • Do you have Max's album '2632'?
  • Was Fran Drescher wearing painted bubble wrap for a dress?
  • Can you be a superhero with a short cape and a duck on your back?
  • Were you ever a roadie for Josie and the Pussycats?
  • Are you glad?
  • Did you know what had become of Tina Yothers?
  • How about Horshack?
  • Who's the high priestess of Loser-Vania?
  • How close are puppy love and apocalypic scripture?
  • Aren't really slow fights the most dramatic?
  • Remember Stanley Tucci's part in a Pauly Shore movie?
  • What sort of beard does Conan develop?
  • What does New England have, other than maple syrup?
  • Who're your hockey heroes?
  • How does your love for Ralph Maccio end?
  • You've never booed a Vulcan, have you?
  • Good.
  • Would you spend 36 hours in a room with people like Benjamin Netenyahu?
  • What does Jargol bring us from the new dimension?
  • Do you know all the sash colors?
  • Have you ever worn a silver sash?
  • What about a green sash?
  • Have you ever tried a plaid sash?
  • Which sash is appropriate for people considering changing religions?
  • Why is a chain saw your answer to everything?
  • Do the cashiers laugh with you, or at you?
  • You specifically?
  • Is this house demon-free?
  • Why should you stay in school?
  • Did you?
  • What's rehearsal for?
  • What's Andy's cue card say?
  • What's Max's incentive for hitting the drums so hard?
  • What does the Armadillo Prince bring people?
  • Can you tell the difference between a real Baldwin and a fake Baldwin?
  • Can you identify the difference between a sketch and a real rant?
  • Can you identify the difference between a comedy sketch of questionable taste and an actual threat against another person's existence?
  • Do you marvel at people who can't?
  • Do you sneak into the homes of people who can't and rearrange the stuff on their kitchen counters?
  • Do you sneak into their cars and put candy bars on the dashboard and such?
  • Just to mess with their heads?
  • Don't you wish more people did things like that?
  • Have you got that Baldwin on tape?
  • From this episode?
  • Do you have a firm opinion about it?
  • Did you actually watch the episode before making that opinion?
  • Don't you wish everyone did?
  • What's the secret agenda of the Teletubbies?
  • Did you already know?
  • Which Teletubby went on to become Andy Richter?
  • Have you ever used a Teletubby as a substitute computer monitor?
  • What do you want for Christmas?
  • How do you make vanilla sinful?
  • What's on Sesame Street's newsstands?
  • Did Big Bird ever find his egg?
  • Why would he have an egg, anyway?
  • What's Ted Danson's new show?
  • What sort of symptoms does Andy's Cold bring?
  • Have you ever suffered them?
  • Did you catch Conan on Lateline?
  • So you were the guy?
  • Have you compared it to his presence on 'Spin City'?
  • As an actor, does Conan make a good talk show host?
  • Have you followed the impeachment trial?
  • Did you follow the Super Bowl?
  • Have you seen anything?
  • Ever?
  • Do you want to say Conan's monologue punch line with him?
  • What was wrong with the child's drawing of Conan changing Andy's Pampers?
  • Did you remember to pay the set bill?
  • Did anyone?
  • Bill Murray is more than just a Ghostbuster. What else is he?
  • Is this a job for Captain Andy?
  • Why can't Captain Andy do it?
  • Could the Freckled Wonder?
  • Who's the Pretender?
  • Who's the Embarasser?
  • Who's the Humiliator?
  • Did Jerry Vivino have a baby?
  • Did his wife?
  • Have you considered Conina as a girl's name?
  • Why will Conan never be too sick to do the show?
  • Can guests of Late Night with Conan O'Brien get paid in bacon?
  • Are you ready for Stephen King's 'Rat Pilot'?
  • Did you make a horror story out of a La-Z-Boy chair?
  • Whatever happened to Leif Ericson?
  • What'd he do after giving up the exploration business?
  • Have you ever surrounded your hamster with bright colors his brain can't even begin to process?

    Return to the Late Night Fan Purity Test, Main

    The Late Night with Conan O'Brien Fan Purity Test version 1.20, published July 20, 1996; August 23, 1995; April 13, 1995

    Suggestions, additions, corrections, modifications are always welcomed and may even be acknowledged.

    This page could not have been prepared without the alt.fan.conan-obrien FAQ, maintained by Joseph Gebis and Damone, j-gebis@uiuc.edu and damone@ios.com, available on WWW at the URL http://styx.ios.com/~damone/gconanfaq.html.

    The photographs decorating this page are screen grabs of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, which is the property of and Copyright NBC and Broadway Video. The screen grabs are available by Joe "Uno" Shaw's Conan O'Brien FTP site, ftp://joeshaw.bevc.blacksburg.va.us/pub/conan/.

    Late Night with Conan O'Brien Fan Purty Test Copyright 1997 by Joseph Nebus. Nothing in this document necessarily reflects the views of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, the National Broadcasting Company, or Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.

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