You might be an engineering major if...

If you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically. 

If you enjoy pain. 

If you know vector calculus but you can't remember how 
to do long division. 

If you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force." 

If you've actually used every single function on your 
graphing calculator. 

If when you look in a mirror, you see an engineering major. 

If it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are 
working on a computer. 

If you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver." 

If you always do homework on Friday nights. 

If you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the 
derivative of water. 

If you think in "math." 

If you've calculated that the World Series actually 
diverges. 

If you hesitate to look at something because you don't 
want to break down its wave function. 

If you have a pet named after an engineer. 

If you laugh at jokes about mathematicians. 

If the Humane society has you arrested because you 
actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment. 

If you can translate English into Binary. 

If you can't remember what's behind the door in the 
engineering building which says "Exit." 

If you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle 
of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in 
the lab. 

If you are completely addicted to caffeine. 

If you avoid doing anything because you don't want to 
contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe. 

If you consider ANY non-science course "easy." 

If when your professor asks you where your homework is, 
you claim to have accidentally determined its 
momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg 
it could be anywhere in the universe. 

If the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from 
lack of use. 

If you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order 
to make the math easier. 

If you understood more than five of these indicators. 

If you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on 
your door. 


If these indicators apply to you, there is good reason 
to suspect that you might be classified as a engineering 
major. I hope this clears up any confusion.