Adjusting to American Culture

General Characteristics of Americans

Individualism

Americans generally believe that the ideal person is an autonomous, self-reliant individual. Most Americans see themselves as separate individuals, not as a representative of a family, community or other group.

Informality

Americans treat each other in an informal manner, even in the presence of great differences in age or social standing. It also extends in the way they dress and communicate with each other. It is quite acceptable for women to wear very little clothing in the summer; this is not an indication of loose morals. It is also common for students to act casually with their professors and advisors; however, this is not a sign of disrespect. First names are often used in the US. A few basic rules concerning this may be: Use first names with someone of approximately the same age and status. A woman older than yourself can be addressed as Miss or Mrs. [Last Name], depending on her marital status. "Ms." can be used for either a single or married woman unless she has a title such as Dr., Prof. or Dean. An older man may be addressed as "sir" if you don't know his name. If older people wish you to call them by their first name, they will probably ask you to do so.

Friendship

Friendships among Americans tend to be shorter and less intense than those among people from other cultures. This may be due to the fact that Americans move around so much and don't spend all their lives in just one place. Americans are often outwardly friendly with others, even if they don't know them well. In time you will learn to distinguish casual friendships from more serious and deeper friendships.

Time consciousness

Americans place considerable value on punctuality. They tend to organize their activities by means of schedules. When an appointment or invitation is made you will be expected to be there on time. If you know you will be late it is expected that you will call to inform the host of the delay.

Awareness of other cultures

In spite of their being a highly educated population, Americans are remarkably ignorant of other cultures. You may find that Americans have very strange ideas about your country (for example: "Do you have cars in India?"). Try your best to teach Americans about your country. They are generally eager to learn about other places, but in most cases you must take the initiative to begin the conversation.

Privacy and Private Property

As members of a highly individualistic society Americans may seem to be very possessive of not only their material things (homes, clothing, cars, money), but of their knowledge (unwillingness to share class notes, test information, etc.) as well. In spite of their directness in many matters, certain areas of discussion are considered very private and should be approached gently; for example, personal financial affairs, age, religious beliefs, sexual behavior, and political views.

Guidelines for Practical Situations

Greeting

Older men usually shake hands with each other when they first meet. Women may also shake hands. Younger women may take their cue from older women; men generally take their cue from the woman.

Invitations

A casual verbal invitation such as "come and see me sometime" or "drop in" is usually given with the unspoken understanding that you will call and make more specific plans before going over. However, oral invitations such as "Why don't you come over Tuesday evening at 8:00pm?" are very specific. If you accept, the host will expect you to be there unless you call or tell them you will not be able to make it. If you are invited for a meal and the host offers you some food, don't say "no" unless you mean it. To the host a "no" means you don't want any, so be sure to say "yes" if you are hungry or you would like a second helping. If there are foods you may not eat for religious or health reasons, it is appropriate to inform your host in advance of the meal.

Tipping

Tips, or services charges, are not usually added to the bill in US hotels or restaurants. Nevertheless, tips are often expected and needed by employees. It is currently customary to tip the waiter or waitress in a restaurant 15% of the amount of the check if the services are satisfactory. Tips are not expected in cafeterias or "fast food" establishments such as McDonalds or Burger King. In a hotel the bellboy who assists you to your room expects a minimum of $1.00 plus $1.00 per suitcase. Tip taxi drivers 15% of the fare. Porters (luggage carriers in airports and train stations) expect $1.00 per bag. Tip your hair dresser 15% of the bill or $1.00 minimum. Do not tip gas station attendent, bus drivers, theater ushers or parking attendants who do not park your car. Absolutely DO NOT tip postal workers, government employees, customs officials, driver's test examiners, police or anyone associated with a public service job. This will be viewed as an attempted bribe. This is illegal and very unethical in the U.S.

Gifts and Thank you's

If you are invited to a family's home, you may wish to bring some small gift (some flowers, a trinket from your country, a bottle of wine, or a small box of candy). This is not necessary, but may be appropriate at a later visit. In any case, it is greatly appreciated if, after a dinner party or other social occasion, you send a very short note thanking the family for the nice evening (a brief telephone call may be a substitute for the note).

Use of Please and Thank you

Use "Please" and "Thank you" with a smile when making requests in student service offices and in your department. Office secretaries, other people working with students, and the general public may perceive you as impolite and demanding when they feel that you are "telling them what to do."

The "Secret" to Happiness

Over and over you will read references to Americans as individualistic and independent. The highly competitive environment at Rensselaer makes these characteristics especially obvious and this place particularly difficult for some students to adjust to. In order for you to make friends and communicate well at Rensselaer it is essential that you accept the idea that here in the US you are responsible for your own happiness. If you are feeling lonely or depressed, all the busy people around you may not notice, or if they do, they will respect your private life. When you "reach out" to someone - asking for help - almost any American will gladly and generously assist you.

Until you take the initiative, your fellow students may assume that you have many friends and are perfectly happy. Americans may also be reluctant to join you in your social activities because they are uncomfortable. Take the initiative; ask an American student to your apartment for dinner, to see a particular film in which you are interested, etc. In this way, you can begin to break down the communication barrier.

Enjoy your stay in Troy!